In high school band circles, there are dozens of jokes about flutists. "How do you get two flutes to play in unison? Shoot one." Or, "What do you get when you gather all the flutists in the band together? Too many flutists." Apparently flutes are just better when they're on their own. And they're best when played by someone like internationally renowned flutist Timothy Hutchins. Hutchins is currently the principal flute of the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra, and before that, he was the principal flute of the Montreal Symphony, where he received international acclaim as a concerto soloist. He's even played Ibert's flute concerto at Carnegie Hall. Tonight he performs accompanied by his wife, pianist Janet Creaser Hutchins, as part of the Y Music Society series, and you can bet that when he's finished nobody will ask him, "How do you know if there's a flute player at your door? You don't, they can't find the right key and don't know when to come in." Ha ha. 8 p.m. $35. Jewish Community Center, Squirrel Hill. 412.392.4900
Monday, February 2
In 1968, shortly after Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed, elementary school teacher Jane Elliott performed a groundbreaking experiment. She asked her class of fourth-graders in all-white Riceville, Iowa what they thought about black people. They responded saying things like, "They're dirty," "They riot, they steal," and "You can't trust them, my dad says they better not try to move in next door to us." Determined to counter her students' prejudices, she divided the class into two groups and told the children that brown-eyed people were superior to blue-eyed people. She took away blue-eyed students' privileges and told the class that blue-eyed people were lazy and stupid. She didn't tell the students how to treat each other but within minutes she watched blue-eyed students become timid and brown-eyed students taunting the blue-eyed. That day Elliott learned that racism is taught, but it can also be untaught. Now a consultant who works with schools and corporations confronting discrimination in their organizations, Elliott presents a lecture entitled, Anatomy of a Prejudice. Free. 7 p.m. Winchester Thurston School, Shadyside. 412.578.7500
Friday, December 26
This year for Christmas, I asked Santa to please, please let the New York Nationals beat the Harlem Globetrotters. The New York Nationals are the Globetrotters' new opponent since the Washington Generals closed their camp in 1995, after half a decade of miserable defeats. Now I know that rooting against the Globetrotters is like rooting for the Grinch to steal Christmas or for Frosty to melt, but after getting downright embarrassed every day for years, even bad teams are in for a little Christmas magic- and maybe by that logic the Steelers will win their season closer, too. At tonight's game we'll see if the Nationals' holiday wish comes true, or, at the very least, enjoy the gift of watching some awe-inspiring basketball wizardry. 7 pm. Mellon Arena, Uptown. 412.323.1919
Monday, December 29
The cliche goes that one person's trash is another person's treasure. Whoever said that first apparently did not have a relative who worked at a thrift store. After spending some time with someone who brings home what they couldn't give away for free and tries to pass them off as gifts on unsuspecting family members, you get the sense that sometimes one person's junk really is another person's junk. The key is to make sure that it becomes another person's junk. You have the opportunity to do that with this year's unwanted Christmas presents at Zombo's Bad Gift Exchange Extravaganza. Bring them and get a dollar off the door and the opportunity to trade for someone else's thoughtless gift. Live music by the Legion of Incredibly Strange Superheroes, Mr. and Mr$. Funky, the Bowling Allies, and DJ Zombo really turns that bad gift into a treasure. 7:30 pm. $5. Club Cafe, South Side. 412.431.4950
Thursday, January 22
Terry is a struggling actor, living in Staten Island with two other struggling actors, Matt and Alex, who have been lovers for over four years. But lately Matt has been on tour in a musical and Alex has been cheating on him with Buck, a mall manager who got Alex his current gig as a ma mall Santa. Terry desperately wants to preserve the peace and stability he had before Matt left. Such is the basic premise behind the play, The Crumple Zone. Now if you're thinking, "Wait, a zany romantic comedy about roommates with nearly opposite personalities, set in a New York City borough?" or, "Hey, didn't that used to be a sitcom? I don't remember them being gay," you're not too far off. A theater critic for the New York Times says that the play "might have been written by [Neil] Simon if he were gay and 40 years younger." Cloven Hoof Productions kicks off the 2004 season with this Buddy Thomas comedy. Through January 31. The Penn Theater, Bloomfield. 412.761.3947



